Tequila And A Match
by MarvelMe
Summary: This is the stunt that lands Ike and Sheik in community service and is the reason why Ganondorf is so ugly. Two simple objects. Tequila and a match. This is for the Shike lovers. Oneshot. Yes there is profanity.


**Do I really have to write **_**another**_** disclaimer? Because I still don't own shit.**

**This falls in line with my other story, Sheik and Ike: New Obstacles. This is how they ended up in community service. **

**Have fun kiddies.**

"Hurry up!" Ike hissed.

"Fuck you! I'm going as fast as I can!" Sheik spat back.

Ike peeked around the corner, on the look out for anyone who might catch them. He was mostly watching for Ganandorf.

Sheik was pouring a large jug of lighter fluid into the washing machine. She smiled in satisfaction when she finished soaking it into Ganandorf's clothes.

"Okay! I'm done!" Sheik said admiring her work.

"It took you long enouth! Let's hurry up and go! He could show up at any minute!" Ike rushed, grabbing her arm.

"Okay, well hold on-" He yanked her out of the laundry room and started quickly down the hall.

"Ike! What's the rush? He's not back yet!" She exclaimed.

He turned her around so that she was facing towards the corner of the hallway. Hanging from the ceiling was a camera, staring straight at the place they just were.

"Ah, shit." She muttered.

"Exactly. The camera might have caught it."

Sheik narrowed her eyes at it. "Well, whatever. No one will check the footage. Everyone in this whole stupid mansion is lazy."

Ike sighed. "Then let's continue with our plan!"

"Fine!"

**One hour later:**

"Ow! Stop pushing!" Ike hissed.

"I'm not pushing! _You're_ just too close!" Sheik said trying to distance herself from him.

They were crawling through the air vents, trying to locate the newly dressed Ganandorf. But, it was extremely cramped and they were practically on top of one another.

"Ike!" Sheik growled. "If you don't move your hand off of my chest in within the next three seconds, then I will send you flying out of this vent so fast that you won't even remember what you did!"

"Oh, sorry!" He said moving his hand. "I didn't realize they were there."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sheik yelled.

"Nothing! Nothing! You're just...Never mind." He sighed and crawled forward.

"That's what I thought..." She grumbled.

"You know, you're a bitch!" He said as he turned around the corner.

"Excuse me?"

"I said that you're a bitch! No one likes you! You're way too loud! You're annoying! You're a spawn of the devil! You're demented in every way! And, I personally can't stand to be around you! Not many other people can either!" He said with infinite spite.

Sheik gaped at the mercenary."Why you little-"

She was cut off by the sound of a door slamming. Ike looked down through an opening in the vent and saw Ganandorf walking around angrily in wet clothes.

"WHO BROKE THE DRYER?" He boomed through the mansion.

"Quick! Hand me the matches!" Ike told Sheik.

Sheik grumbled and pulled out a box of matches. Ike took it and pulled out a match.

He struck it on the side, but no flame apeared. He tried another match, but there was still no flame. He tried another and another and another until there was only one match left.

"Okay, this isn't working!" He said.

"That's because you can't do anything right! Look, Ganandork is leaving!" She said angrily.

Ganandorf _was_ leaving. He was headed for his door.

"Oh, great." Ike grumbled.

Sheik sighed and snatched the last match from Ike's hand. She struck it and it lit sucessfully.

"Well, good for you." Ike said."But, even if you drop it, it'll never reach him."

"Never say never." Sheik winked at him.

Ike poked his head out to see Ganandorf turn the door knob. But, that was a mistake on both of their parts.

A giant wave of fire shot out of the vent, straight at Ganandorf. He was imediately set afire, screaming at the top of his lungs. He ran out the door and into the hallway, still screaming.

The tips of Ike's hair sparked and he quickly patted it out. He looked at Sheik.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" He yelled.

She held up a bottle of tequila. "I solved the problem." She said.

She put the bottle away and started backing out of the vent.

"You know, that was kind of sexy." Ike said.

"Oh shut up!"

***Sigh**

**And so begins the journey of these two clueless people. **

**Wait, why does Sheik have tequila?**

**The rest of their violent shit is in my other story.**

**PEACE OUT. **


End file.
